We’ve been keeping you up to date through this blog, and we wanted to let you know that we’re changing blog addresses.  The new site is thephilpotfamily.blogspot.com.  We won’t be updating this blog anymore.  Everything from here is at thephilpotfamily.blogspot.com now.  So please update your readers and favorites!

It’s been such a privilege to share this journey with you.  Sharing our joy has increased it a hundredfold.  Thank you for your prayers, your gifts and your love.

for the glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

the Philpot family

Here are a few fun pics of life lately…

Visiting daddy for lunch at work

So expressive

He can do it all by himself (this was just for a pic…we still hold the bottle to feed him!)

Thanks for the Bumbos, Bishops and Browns!
(Our little guy loves chilling out, and our funny girl hits it like it’s a drum)

The Russian orphanage where my wife and I found our sons, then Maxim and Sergei, was the most heartbreaking place I have ever been. Its sights and smells and sounds come back to me every day.

But, even more so, before my mind’s eye every day are the faces of the children we couldn’t adopt. The little girl who peered around the door frame every day as we visited our then-future sons in their room. What happened to her? What will happen to those like her, and like my sons, who are waiting now for homes and families, someone to love them and feed them and hug them?

Until now, my hope has been that Christians from America, Canada, Germany, France, or somewhere may have adopted them, to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If the anti-adoption Russians get their way, I fear that these children will be sentenced to institutions, never to find families.

There are other Maxims and Sergeis, sitting day and night in cribs somewhere in Russia. Let’s pray that the Russian people make the right decisions for them. And let’s pray for the providence of the One who promises to be a Father to the fatherless. This situation isn’t just a human interest tragedy. And it’s not just a foreign policy issue.

Russia’s orphans aren’t foreigners to those of us who’ve been adopted into the family of Christ. They’re Jesus’ little brothers and sisters (Matt 25:40). He won’t forget them.

And neither can we.

The internet is abuzz—from Yahoo News to NPR to the Daily Beast—with the tragic controversy surrounding a single mother from Tennessee, who sent her adopted Russian son back to Russia, solo on a plane, claiming that he was acting out in ways she could no longer handle.

The mother certainly merits the sharp criticism she’s earned, and, if we can find it, compassion and prayers as well.  She cleary lost grip on the reality of what adoption represents:  that is a permanent intertwining of lives, a sacred commitment.  Her choice was like that of a new mother imaging she could simply reverse motherhood by taking a crying newborn back to the hospital—just as, sadly, sometimes happens.

The story highlights a number of important issues.  A few of these are:

The vital importance of thorough understanding and preparation before adoption. Initial reports strongly suggest that the mother had no anticipation of the difficulty she might face in seeking to care for the 7-year-old boy.  Children who have spent many years in an institution often carry wounds that take time, sacrifice and much patience to heal.  The simple truth is that because every child so deeply needs the love and permanence of a family, years in institutional care are not without consequences.  This, of course, is precisely why adoption is to be far preferred to orphanages whenever possible, and why it’d be a tragedy multiplied by thousands if the Russian government allowed this exceptional case to halt international adoptions, as they are now threatening.

The need for community. Adoption should never be viewed as a “just-me-and-my-child” undertaking.  All parents, especially single ones, need the support, encouragement, advice and practical aid of others as they raise their children.  This is particularly true with adopted children coming from difficult backgrounds.  This is why the local church is key to a full vision for adoption.  Adoption should not be seen merely as a family wrapping around a hurting child, but as a community wrapping around a family wrapping around a child.  The best church adoption ministries never focus just on the process of getting a family to the point of adoption, but on the whole journey that will include many years of great joys and real challenges after the child has arrived.

The significance of motivations. Adoption should never be undertaken merely as a way to fill our own cavernous needs.  It’s always wise to avoid judging motives, but it does appear that the Tennessee mother was adopting in large part to fill an emptiness within her own life.  Of course, just as with marriages entered for such reasons, adoptions in which the child is primarily a means to personal fulfillment, comfort, or other self-focused reasons are bound for trouble. No other human being will ever fill the gaps in our own lives completely, especially those with profound needs of their own.  So, if we are not prepared to give much more than we receive—whether as parents or in marriage—we’re likely to “want out” before long.

There are real risks that this sad situation could derail other Russia-to-U.S. adoptions, and thus relegate thousands of adoptable orphans to life in institutions.  In light of this danger, our friends at JCICS have done a great job pulling together a concerted response to this situation.  They’re seeking to confront the serious wrong done to the 7-year-old Russian boy, while also working to send a clarion message to our friends in Russia that this situation does not reflect the reality the vast majority of adopted Russian children experience in the U.S.   If you have stories that can help them convey this message, I’d encourage you to join their “We are the Truth” initiative here.

Psalm 16:2-3  Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”  The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.”

To all of you who have prayed and given to help us bring them home, we can’t say this enough…

Mom, I miss you so much already!  I love spending time with you.  I’ll always treasure these first few weeks with our babies and with you.  If you could stay here indefinitely, I’d be all for it.

I can never thank you enough for all of your help.  I couldn’t have done it without you!  I’ve learned so much from you about being a mom.

And you know how our sweet babies love you.

You’re an excellent grandmother.  Thank the Lord that you’re our kids’ grandmother!!

It turns out that our baby girl was born the day before my sister gave birth — the first baby any of my siblings had ever had.  The day our baby girl was born was full of excitement and anticipation for me because I was waiting for a call from my sister to say that she was in labor.  I had my cell phone on my desk all day.  Birth and new life were on my mind.

Our baby boy was born two weeks later, while we were visiting my sister and her husband in Florida to see their new son.  We were fresh from holding a newborn boy and thinking hard about our own.  The day that we think our boy was born, Josh and I took a picture on the beach that we like to call “Our Children are Across That Ocean!”

God’s sovereignty never ceases to amaze me.

I Peter 1:3  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

Psalm 145:17  The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works.

Lord, thank You for closing the womb for us so that we could be the parents of these two precious children!!

We tried our best to pack light, but we were also brand new parents and wanted to be sure that we had everything on hand that the babies might need for the 18 hour international flight, a combined 7 hours of layovers and 5 hours of domestic flights.  We checked our largest bag.  But on the long trip from Ethiopia to Kentucky we still had one carry on item, one personal item and one baby each.  We both agree that the airport was a much more difficult experience than the plane ride!

My favorite memory is of my dear, patient husband Josh in a security check line with me.  Josh was carrying our brand new son in a Baby Bjorn carrier on his chest.  And unfortunately our son decided he wasn’t happy.  And he let everyone know it.  Poor baby boy screamed at the top of his lungs for about 20 minutes straight!  Now that I’m a parent I know that this is much easier to take when you’re not the one holding the baby.  But when the baby is attached to you and screaming, you feel a strong desire to calm that baby down.

To make matters worse, Josh realized that he had a jacket on under the Baby Bjorn carrier which he would have to somehow remove before going through security.

We’re totally new at all this!

Josh started working his way forward in the line, asking people if they minded if he got in front of them.  Nobody minded.  Not when he had a screaming baby attached to him.  Baby girl and I stayed where we were in line.

When I finally caught up to Josh, he’d discovered the reason that baby boy wasn’t happy.  Poor thing had wet his diaper and it had soaked completely through his outfit.

And on to the Baby Bjorn carrier.

And on to Josh’s outfit.

And we realized we had no baby wipes left.

Again, we’re totally new at all this.

We didn’t even have a change of clothes for either child.  Who knew you’d need a change of clothes?  I mean, why would a baby possibly need a change of clothes when you’re looking ahead at a 30 hour trip? I had picked out a cute coming home outfit for each of them to meet friends and family in at the airport.  So much for those!

Thankfully, we had the outfits they were wearing when we first met them in a carry on bag.  I’m planning to save those outfits.  So…they put them on again.

Yup, they.

Baby girl had wet through her outfit too.  She was just less vocal about it.  We’re much more attentive to how often we change diapers now.

But, let me say that the plane ride itself wasn’t all that bad.  We had a number of people praying about it, and I know the Lord heard and honored those prayers.  Our international flight had other adopting families on it, so the tone of the flight was baby friendly.  And our babies weren’t the only ones who were fussy now and then.  It was long.  But we got through it just fine.

We were so glad to get home and settled!

The man who ran our Guest House drove us to the Transition Home where our children had been staying for the last 20 days.  Driving in Ethiopia is a lot different than it is here in America.  Most of the time we were in a car in Addis Ababa we were fearing for our lives.  Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but it was pretty scary.  There are usually horns honking at all times.  They don’t seem to have any stop lights or signs that we noticed.  I’m not sure whether they have a “right of way” there.  So as you can imagine, our hearts were beating quickly for a number of reasons.

We drove up to the house where our son and daughter were, a place that is etched in my mind now.  We were led through a short tour of the older kids’ rooms, kitchen, etc…most of that is a blur in my mind.  We were in the same building as our children!!  We were about to meet them!

Finally they took us into a baby room upstairs.  They pointed out a sweet, small baby in a crib by the door.  Then they pointed to another crib against the far wall.  “This is your baby,” they said.

How can words do justice to that moment?  Our baby girl, whose face we’d studied in pictures for hours on end, was lying there in front of us.  In person.  Sleeping, just like she was in the first pictures we’d ever seen of her.

I couldn’t let her lay there!  I picked her up and held her, my daughter.  She smiled at us and I thought my heart would burst.

I handed our sweet baby girl to her daddy to hold.  We enjoyed her for a few moments, then Josh asked the question that was on both our minds — “And Temesgen?”  (Our son went by Temesgen in Ethiopia, and our daughter went by Lekyelesh — we’re keeping their Ethiopian names as their middle names)  They walked us to a common area, and there was our son.  The same boy that we’d loved from a distance, here before us.  We’d recognize him anywhere.  He was being held by a nanny, and there were a number of other nannies there waiting to enjoy our first moments together as a family.  Looking back, we think they were being strategic about the way they introduced us to our baby boy.  He’s happiest when he’s just eaten…and we could see traces of formula around his mouth.  He was also wearing a bib that said “Feed Me.”  He’s a boy, through and through.

We held our son and daughter.  And we were happy.

Psalm 72:18-19  Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.  Blessed be His glorious name forever!

Imagine that you were born into a miserable situation: no family, no future, no hope. A father you did not know and never would have met sets his love on you. He makes elaborate plans to redeem you for himself, make you part of his family, and give you hope and a future. The price for your redemption is shocking, and this father who has decided to adopt you doesn’t even flinch.

At a cost to himself that you cannot fathom, a price that you will not understand until your own faculties have matured, he ransoms your life. The redemption entails a journey whose distance we have no categories for comprehending, a sacrifice that risks everything, suffers, dies, and rises from the dead, and in the triumphant resurrection your life is secured. He has bought you back and he will fetch you home.

He puts his name on you, and he has promised to bring you into his home where you will live in his presence. While you await the finalization of the adoption process, he gives you a down payment that can never be revoked, sealing you with his own Spirit. Brothers and sisters, what Josh and Jenn have just done in adopting their baby son and daughter parallels so beautifully what our Father has done. We have been adopted. The Father who has redeemed us and made us part of his family shows us in this passage what we will inherit, the place we will live. If we believe this, let us live like the children of such a Father.

From the blog of a friend who has four biological children and five adopted children…

I’ve had my share of excuses in the past.

Not enough time
Too young
Too old
Can’t afford it
Already have four children
Not sure if it’s God’s will
What will others say?
What will others think?
Can’t afford it
What if it’s hard on our other kids?
It’s not the right time
Not sure I would be good at it
House is too small
Can’t afford it
Not sure if I want to start all over again
What would we drive?
What if it’s too much work?
What if it’s too hard?
Can’t afford it

Yet for every excuse God has the answer – Him.  It’s all about Him, period.

He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 3:30.

Ever since coming home from Ethiopia it feels I cannot get myself grounded.

I have heard it said before that Africa changes you.

I totally understand that now.

I feel like I still have so much to process. So much that I need God to reveal.

I do wish though that somehow I could share more… the beauty, the smells in the air, the sound of voices singing, and the sweet touch of the orphan reaching for your hand. Because it’s going to take more. More of us caring, more of us willing, and more of us working to make a difference.

I pray that I never forget.

I pray that I never look away again.

I pray that I am big enough to do more…

Because I have to.

They need us.

We need each other.

But the change in our lives involves more than that.  We would be heartless if we weren’t dramatically affected by the poverty and desperation that we encountered in Ethiopia.  Just our childrens’ stories alone are enough to break our hearts.  Our baby boy was found abandoned in a high school with the umbilical cord still attached, sobbing.  The 17 year old birth mother of our baby girl told us that she wants to keep her daughter but she can’t because she has nothing.  She is a smart, beautiful girl, and we could see her emotionally detaching at times because it was all so hard.  I cried when we drove away from our meeting with her.

In the face of this kind of pain, I’m clinging to the promises in God’s Word that He will make all things new someday.  Revelation 21:3-5 keeps running through my mind — “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  And He who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also He said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

It seems normal and right that these two beautiful, happy babies are part of our family.  We love being parents, and the babies are doing so well with us.  God has been very good.  But as normal and right as it all seems, I don’t want to forget that God sent us halfway around the world to get them.  He saw them while they were in tragic and desperate situations, and He intervened to rescue them.  He placed them on our hearts and provided the means for us to adopt them into our family.  It’s a miracle that these two little ones are in our home, that they will grow up as Philpots.